April 26, 2000
Family is forever
By Jan Hoffbauer
Correspondent
Chris Ewald's mother hosted a Youth for Understanding exchange student in 1970, when Chris was pregnant with her son Michael. Thirty years later Chris and her husband Dick have been parents to 19 international permanent sons and daughters, and they have opened their Tiffin home to 88 temporary students.
"We had 15 of the sons and daughters stay for a year and four for less than a year," said Chris. She added that 15 were boys and four were girls.
"Of the 88 students, some stayed only one day and some up to three months. Some kids stayed for just a place to 'veg out' and talk. Dick and I do a lot of listening," Chris said.
Youth for Understanding has been placing students in American homes since 1951. Seventy-five students came from Austria in a one-way exchange. A couple years later it became a two-way exchange. Ann Arbor, Mich., was the site for the first headquarters. In 1978, YFU moved to Washington, D.C. The concept behind the non-profit organization is that world peace can be achieved through one youth at a time getting to know another person's culture and understanding each other.
"I have been involved with YFU since 1976 when we hosted our first daughter. I started volunteering in 1977 when we hosted our first son. I have done everything. I worked in orientation, training, hosting, school presentations, recruited Americans to go over seas, recruited host families and was a field manager," said Chris.
Her commitment to YFU was not just in Tiffin, as she has traveled all over Ohio, West Virginia and Pennsylvania for the opportunity to share the joy of exchanging cultures and learning from each other. These states are part of region 30, with a regional office in Columbus.
"I did it for my part of world peace. My mother always said volunteerism is the rent you pay for your space," Chris said.
Her enthusiasm for the program even generated a three-month trip to New Zealand to volunteer.
"During that time I lived with 14 different families. I had traveled before without Dick, but three months is different. I got homesick. No, I wouldn't do it again, but I'm glad I did it. I have more sympathy with the kids when they get homesick," she said and added, "When I received letters from Dick, Michael and Melinda, I would read them again at night under the sheets with a flashlight. I would understand how the kids felt."
Chris and Dick's children, Michael and Melinda, were exchange students. Melinda traveled to Germany for the summer of 1978 and Michael lived in Australia the summer of 1987. Chris and Dick have traveled to visit the families of the children who call them "Mom and Dad."
"I have met all the children's parents. Dick hasn't met them all, but I have. Mike, his wife Jackie, and Melinda are going to Brazil this summer to visit their sister Maria and her family," Chris said.
The opportunity to host different cultures is a tremendous learning experience and placing students in host families also was rewarding for Chris. Chris was pleased when Peg Benner called to request an exchange daughter.
"I met Peg (Weiker) Benner when she was 16 in 1977. She called 20 years later and said, 'Now I'm ready,' " Chris said.
"My parents had a girl from Norway, Berit, live with us when I was junior. We got along really well and we were like sisters. The year after she left I went there for a month," said Peg.
Berit returned to be a bridesmaid when Peg and Phil married. Since then Peg's parents and her younger brother have traveled to Norway to meet Berit's family. Peg keeps in contact with Berit by e-mail and is hoping for a return visit from Berit.
"When my daughter Brooke was a sophomore, she expressed interest in an exchange sister. We got Melanie from Germany. We all got along great," said Peg.
Melanie stayed with the Benners during her junior year, the year that Brooke was a junior. Berit had stayed when Peg was a junior. All four attended Seneca East.
"Mel was on the track team and in the musical. She continued her karate while here. She was a Congress Buntestag scholarship winner. She had excellent English skills. She was the 'cream of the crop.' It was a great experience," Peg said and added, "We keep in touch by fax. She does not have e-mail. We hope to go to Germany someday. She is hoping to come here this summer. Her family came here in April of 1998 to visit."
Berit is also hoping for a visit to the Benners this summer. In June it will be 20 years since she attended Peg and Phil's wedding. Now Berit would meet the Benner's children, Brooke, Bryan and Leslie, in addition to Peg's family where Berit lived.
Placing exchange students into a second generation family makes Chris feel she is getting old. At age 61 she has cut down on some of her volunteering. She no longer places students in host family homes. But the impact that the Ewald family has had on so many students was evident three years ago when Michael and Jackie married.
Nine sons and daughters, plus spouses and other family members, attended the wedding. The Ewalds had international company of 19 for that week-end.
"I told them the day after the wedding, if we ever wondered if what we did mattered we found out today. Anybody that would come to Tiffin for three days in April, from China, Russia, Australia and other countries must have the same love for us as we do for them," she added.
One of the highlights after the wedding was listening to their international children comparing notes about teachers at Calvert and curfews imposed upon them. They exchanged e-mail addresses and added to their family base before they departed Tiffin. Later the Ewalds heard by e-mail from a Russian daughter about the pregnancy of their Norwegian daughter-in-law.
The Ewald's 19 children came from Brazil, Netherlands, Finland, Norway, Denmark, Germany, Belgium, Soviet Union, Croatia, Australia and Japan. In addition two children were from Switzerland and three from both Sweden and Spain. They have 10 international grandchildren. They had one set of Spanish brothers (nine years apart) and one set of Swiss brothers (four years apart) live with them for a year.
"After counting Melinda and Michael as blessings, we count them as blessings. They bring so much into our lives. It was great when they were here, but it is really great when they come back a second time. When they left home the first time, we gave them a key to the house to tell them that they are welcome anytime," Chris said.
Peter, a Swedish son who arrived at the Ewald's when Michael was in first grade, came for the wedding and is now 41. He could not express his feelings when he was a teen-ager, but he sent this letter to the Ewalds on March 31 of this year:
"I really want to thank-you for bringing normal into my life, when I was living in your family. And carrying that feeling with me after our year together. Back then I never really understood why I was feeling so great when I was in Tiffin. If you really enjoy yourself at home, then you'll have a great time outside home, too. It really changed my life and has been very important for me ever since."
Chris marvels that 24 years later Peter still feels these sentiments. They complement a cross-stitch wall hanging made by Melinda. It is surrounded by pictures of all 21 of the Ewald's children. Families are forever.