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MONDAY, FEBRUARY 26, 2001

But what would we call raisins?

Should the federal government have any say-so as to whether dried plums are labeled as "dried plums" or "prunes?" Believe it or not, this pressing question upon the Republic's future occupied Food and Drug Administration bureaucrats for the last two years.

A prune, of course, by definition is a dried plum. Plum growers, wanting to shed the image that dried plums are just for old people, sought approval from the FDA to change their labels to "dried plums" in order to market them to a younger crowd along with other dried fruit snacks.

The FDA resisted. The name change, the agency protested, would be "misleading."

The FDA finally relented. A grower-proposed compromise was reached: Dried plums may be labeled as such, but until 2003 packages still must carry the words "pitted prunes" in smaller letters.

Perhaps the Bush administration should consider administering a hefty helping of dried plums to the FDA bureaucracy. If there are people at the FDA whose job it is to fret over whether labels say "prunes" or "dried plums," then it's time for serious reform.

Taxpayers do not deserve to have their hard-earned money squandered on such nonsense.