New Ulm woman waits

as husband serves in Iraq

By KURT NESBITT

Journal Staff Writer

NEW ULM -- Holly Gronholz recalls sitting in her classroom in fifth grade, watching Scud missiles fly through the air over Baghdad during the Gulf War in 1991.

That war was incredibly different for her compared to the recent conflict in Iraq.

These days, she finds it hard to watch news footage of soldiers coming home from duty in Iraq because her husband Paul is still there two months after the major fighting ended.

Holly remembers Paul getting his orders on Feb. 12. The call came at 2 p.m. Paul was ordered to pack his bags for Ft. Bragg, N.C. He landed in Iraq one month later.

Paul Gronholz, who joined the Army Reserves in 1999, was one of approximately 120 members of his Army Reserve psychological operations unit based in Arden Hills who were ordered to Iraq. He departed the very next day.

Paul Gronholz had one semester of college left before graduating with a law enforcement degree from Minnesota State University-Mankato. He enlisted in the reserves because he felt the interrogation training would help him secure a job as a police officer.

The Gronholzes, both 23, married one year after graduating from Minnesota Valley Lutheran High School. They have two children -- Caleb, who is three and Isabel, who is one year old. They moved in a house they bought on on Minnesota Street about one month before Paul was called to active duty. His orders could last for two years; his enlistment is up in six years.

"I never imagined myself as a military wife," Holly said. "I couldn't imagine him as an Army boy."

In the first days of the war, the family was literally addicted to television and watched anxiously for any updates on the troops. Holly remembers Caleb pointing to a soldier on the screen and saying, "Mommy, there's Daddy."

"Every soldier is Daddy to him," Holly explained.

The televised updates of the war provided information to Holly that even Paul may not have been aware of. Soldiers in Iraq had little idea of what was happening because information was not widely distributed to troops who were not on the front lines, said Holly.

Every letter, every phone call and every e-mail from Paul brings some relief from worrying to Holly. At one point, there was no communication for several weeks, and Holly became very concerned.

"I basically didn't sleep until I heard his voice again," she said.

During the hottest days of the war, Paul Gronholz was working for the Army's psychological operations services distributing propaganda leaflets and interrogating Iraqi prisoners of war. By the beginning of April, U.S. forces had pushed their way into Baghdad, and the major fighting was declared over on April 15.

Holly Gronholz felt tremendous relief then.

But now is the most frustrating part. It's hard for Holly to watch television footage of troops being greeted by their families. Holidays like Memorial Day are also tough because a few of the soldiers who came home from Iraq were honored while Paul was still away.

Although her grandfather fought during the Korean War and Paul's father served in the Air Force -- Paul was born on the base in Grand Forks, N.D. -- Holly knows of no other family who has loved ones serving overseas. She was contacted by a Sleepy Eye support group for families of military personnel, but was unable to attend the meeting because of her work schedule.

Holly said most of her neighbors are supportive of her husband. She has yellow ribbons tied around four of the trees in their front yard, a star banner in the window and a photo of Paul on the pillar of the front porch of the house. She says motorists will slow down and even honk every so often.

The only negative experience she's had so far was with a customer at her job at Kwik Trip. The customer became angry with her because Holly's husband was fighting in the war. Holly said she was almost in tears by the time the woman finished.

Holly and Paul are wondering how long it will take for him to come home. She doesn't see much of a point in keeping him overseas when there's little for him to do. Holly said Paul, like many soldiers, passes the time by playing sports and writing letters home.

She misses the routine of having him come home and the sharing of their day's experiences with each other.

Paul's phone calls come randomly. She saves his e-mails and letters and photos of his unit, as well as newspapers from the heaviest days of the war.

Holly also sends Paul care packages overseas. By her estimation, Paul has received nearly 20 of them. She said troops often request things like tuna, mayonnaise, Kool-Aid and Gatorade.

Paul misses the "soft, white bread back home in New Ulm," and showers and cold drinks, Holly said.

He described the Iraqi country side as "dirty with sand for miles," He once told Caleb and Isabel that Iraq was like "living in a great big huge sandbox."

The children often fight over who gets to open their father's letters. Holly said Caleb often asks Paul to send him another package during phone conversations, because Paul once sent Caleb a desert-camouflaged hat from Ft. Bragg.

Even though the communications keep her comfortable, Holly still tries to keep her mind on other things until Paul comes home from Iraq. She said her job at Kwik Trip has helped her stay sane.

Phil Gronholz, Paul's older brother, finds the situation difficult too.

"Even though he's my younger brother, he's still like a role model," Phil said.