School sombre as students grieve

By KREMENA TODOROVA

Journal Staff Writer

NEW ULM -- It has been a somber two days at the New Ulm Public High School, as friends remembered Nick Mueller and counselors and clergy helped students and staff work through shock and grief.

Mueller, 16, a junior, died Wednesday morning of a severe asthma attack.

The school hallways were unusually quiet Thursday, as kids streamed in and out of classrooms.

A visibly shaken Pam Iverson, a counselor at the school, said kids had been coming in and out of the guidance office, bringing in unique responses and a range of emotions.

Some were sharing specific memories, talking about how much they missed Nick. With others, the loss stirred up memories and feelings of other losses.

"Kids are very symbolic," Iverson said. "They did things to represent and memorialize their loss."

Students decorated Mueller's locker; brought in flowers and posters; and painted "The Rock" in front of the high school, a boulder that students paint to mark occasions or make a statement.

Mueller was described by those who knew him as a pleasant person, who always wore a smile; a bright student who dreamed of joining the military or law enforcement; loved mechanics, especially his stereo and truck; and actually enjoyed mowing lawns.

Something of a family favorite, he kept in close touch with his grandmother and loved his young cousins.

A former Boy Scout, he had participated in archery, basketball and football; and was most recently involved in S.P.O.T.S., a student group that helps teach kids respond to tough situations by performing skits.

Mueller enjoyed paintball -- and loved bowling so much that "the guy at the alley" paid for him so he can bowl, according to a friend.

Counselors from other local schools, a school psychologist and local clergy were also on hand at the school. Local churches kept their doors open Wednesday night, in case people needed to pray and reflect.

Sometimes the adults talked to kids, sometimes they just offered a hug.

"We tried to give the kids some space," said Pastor Todd Nelson of Our Savior's Lutheran Church, one of many members of the clergy who immediately responded to the crisis.

As much as helping work out answers, Nelson tried to let kids know that it is OK to ask the troubling questions.

"They would ask, why did this happen to Nick," he said. "The honest answer is, no one knows why. What I tried to tell kids is, God cares, God cries with them. God grieves for Nick as well..."

Father John Richter from the Cathedral of the Holy Trinity, the church Mueller attended, was also at the school, available to anyone who would need him.

He prayed with students who asked for prayer.

"My own feeling is, it's not what you said; what's important is that people are present for those who are grieving, when they need help," Richter said.

Jerry Marks, a senior, and Justin Corcoran, a junior, who both knew Mueller from two years in the Boy Scouts and other activities, dealt with their own sense of loss.

The teenagers described the tension as rumors spread briefly, just before Principal Mark Bergmann announced Mueller's death. They talked of the stunned, "dead" silence during the assembly at the gym; the pain that came as the realization sunk in.

"It was like a bad dream; it took some time to believe it was real," said Corcoran.

Marks painted the truck that Mueller loved so much; the teenagers made signs and lit candles.

They shared memories during an impromptu gathering at Mueller's house Wednesday night -- it helped to talk of the good times -- even recall some funny stories that made Nancy, Mueller's mom, laugh through unspeakable grief.

Now, transforming grief into action, the teens, with help from college friend Louis Christensen, have set up a memorial fund in Mueller's name, to raise funds for the family.

The adults involved in the counseling process cautioned that the grieving process will take many weeks, especially for the students in his class.

"At every milestone they go through, be it a prom or a homecoming, they will be remembering Nick," Iverson said.

Iverson said counseling staff will be watching the students closely in the next few weeks, responding to individual situations, looking for signs of continuing trauma, possibly calling students' homes.

"I don't know what we will face," she said. "For some of these kids, it's the first loss they've ever had."

Donations to the Mueller family can be made to the Nick Mueller Memorial Fund, TCF Bank, 26 S. Broadway, New Ulm. The funeral is at 10 a.m. Saturday, at the Cathedral of the Holy Trinity. His obituary is on page 5A of today's paper.