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December 26, 1999
A holiday classic...with a twistTwas the night before Christmas, and all through the state, Fans wondered aloud what would be the Vikes' fate. While stockings were hung by the chimney with care, "The Vikings as champions", they thought, "do we dare?" The teams in the Central, all nestled and clumped, One gets to the Super Bowl, the rest all get dumped. The team should be thinking of feather in cap, Or else they'll be settling in for a long winter's nap. Unlike '98, when the dome was a clatter, Fans spent much of this year saying, "Hey, what's the matter?" Away from old Randall they flew like a flash, Hooray for Jeff George, who signed for less cash. And who, to our wonderous eyes, has stayed coach, In charge of the sleigh, his power unbroached. It's little old Denny, so lively and quick, That taking a knee has been his best trick. But McCombs isn't happy, he's had lots to say, About the diffident way his team sometimes plays. "Now, Randy, come on now, we don't plan to lose, Cause you bored on the field and wanting to snooze. "Our cornerback play's been hardly a plus, When other teams drive through it as if on a bus." "Cris Carter is hurt, but to tell you the truth, It beats missing a game like dumb Rae Carruth. "And where's Johnny Randle, I pay him to sack, But what does he do? Yak, yak, yak, yak." So then, in a twinkling, a smile on Red curled, The salesman came out, in that slow Texas drawl. "The Bucs and the Bears, all tarnished with soot, They took their best shots, and hit their own foot." His eyes how they twinkled, his dimples, how merry, Like a can of fruit cocktail's maraschino cherry. His billionaire's mouth drawn up like a bow, As if he was counting his big piles of dough. "We travel to Jersey, with fire in the belly, To beat the 'ol Giants into mincemeat and jelly." "Then with a wink of our eyes and a twist of our heads, Bobby Ross and the Lions, we'll put them to bed." So spoke the Red man as he went straight to work, And like some pro players, he's sometimes a jerk. And laying a finger alongside his nose, For all intent and purpose, a Heisman-like pose. Ya gotta admit, with a hoot and a whistle, His mind's just like Jesse's, all bramble and thistle. And as he departed, he said one more thing, "It's the stadium issue when we win the ring."
Column by Dave Clark, Journal sports writer
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